Dec 6, 2022
Self-sabotage. We are all guilty of it. You can either fight it or embrace it. If you're not sure what sabotaging behaviors look like, Anne & Lau are here to call you out for everything from minimizing your accomplishments to chronic procrastination. When you're a small business, entrepreneur or creative, your inner voice can often get in the way. The good news is once you recognize the signs of self-sabotage, you can catch yourself & change the outcome. It is easy to feel imposter syndrome. It is easy to push tasks off. But nothing about success comes easy. Having a plan in place to overcome self-sabotage is what will help you beat it, and BOSSES, Anne & Lau have the tips to get every BOSS there.
Transcript
>> It’s time to take your business to the next level, the BOSS level! These are the premiere Business Owner Strategies and Successes being utilized by the industry’s top talent today. Rock your business like a BOSS, a VO BOSS! Now let’s welcome your host, Anne Ganguzza.
Anne: Hey everyone. Welcome to the VO BOSS podcast and the business superpower series, with my guest co-host Lau Lapides. Lau, hey, how are you today?
Lau: I'm fabulous. Ready to rock.
Anne: Ah, Lau. I love recording our sessions. The thing about it is, BOSSes out there, of course we don't do this live. A lot of times Lau and I are doing this on Saturday. So we are working beyond the five day work week. And for me, I'm kind of a self-professed workaholic. Now there's sometimes where I feel that's a good thing. And sometimes where maybe it's not such a good thing because I really need to get out and refresh and get my creative spirit back. But I thought it would be a good time to talk about growing your business work ethic and how some people -- I know there's a lot of, a lot of my students are like, I don't know what's going on. I'm not getting any work. So what can I do? It's almost like they sabotage themselves before they've even begun. So that whole self-sabotage thing, Lau, what do you think about that?
Lau: It's a big deal. I'm telling you, it's a big deal. It's a culprit. And I see it in every other person I work with that's self-sabo -- we'll call it the SS, the self-sabotage. It's so common. And unfortunately, many a time, the person is innocent. They really don't know they're doing it. They're not aware.
Anne: I agree.
Lau: They need to have an outside source, help them identify like, what is going wrong? What's going off? What are they doing? And what are they not doing that's getting in the way of really achieving their goals.
Anne: Sure. And I'll have to say that a majority of let's say students that come to me and say, I hate marketing, or how do I get work now? And so I'll be like, well, you know, you, your marketing has to be an effort, a concentrated, strategized effort by you. And I find that there's an awful lot of people that don't necessarily either know that they have to put as much effort into it as they might in the beginning to get some traction in this industry, or they hate it so much. And they're like, well, I'm gonna take another classroom. I'm gonna get another demo produced. But in the meantime, the other work that needs to get done to really grow their business kind of sits. And it's almost as if they wait and they're like, well, why isn't work coming to me? I've been taking all these classes. I've got my demos. What do I do?
And so I think part of it is an education for here's what it takes to really grow your business. And I mentioned earlier that we are here on a Saturday. <laugh> We're here on a Saturday. And unfortunately, you know, I work six days a week. The one thing that I love about this business is if I need to take time to do something on a Saturday, then we know we'll record at a different time. But the fact is is that I know what has to go into it in order to get results. And unfortunately, sometimes it's a whole lot more than
I want to think that goes into this. Yeah. To be successful. There's a lot more work.
Lau: And unfortunately, I think the mindset that you just brought up earlier about I'm in school and I'm training and I'm doing demos. Why aren't I getting work? Well ask yourself this question. Am I going to hire a dentist who's in school to pull my teeth? Am I gonna hire a carpenter who's in school to build my $2 million home?
Anne: Right. Right.
Lau: Not to say, I don't want a mistake for the listeners you shouldn't be taking classes or training. We're always in professional development. Literally. I'm in professional -- you're in professional.
Anne: Yep. Always.
Lau: But it does not take the place of the exposure energy that you have to put into the world from a marketing standpoint to let people know who you are, what you do, what you provide, and do that on a consistent basis. It's not either, or it's both simultaneously.
Anne: People can't hire you if they don't know you exist, you can't just expect to sit in your studio and wait for work to come to you. When I got into it, in the beginning, I mean, I did not judge the fact that I would have to market as much as I did, and sometimes to really get a good traction and get some consistent clients coming back, it doesn't happen overnight. It doesn't happen in a week. It may take years, just being real. And I really truly believe that the people that stick it out -- there's so many people that get their demos, and they're beautiful demos, but then they don't realize everything else that's required.
Lau: Yeah, what you have to do with it. <Laugh>
Anne: Right. And then if somebody will mention to them, you know, you need be concentrated effort in marketing. They'll make maybe a halfhearted attempt, and they don't go far enough to realize how much it really does take. And in that respect, they are sabotaging themselves. They're sabotaging what they invested all that money into to get the coaching, the demos, and then all of a sudden to not get any work like they're expecting, that is a version of self-sabotage. If you are not willing to put in the effort as much effort as you possibly can to make this a success. And I don't wanna make people think that it's not something that just happens overnight. It's not easy. There is somewhat of a work ethic you have to have to put into it. You get what you put into it, right? You get out of it. What you put into it.
Lau: I say that all the time, you just took the words outta my mouth. I mean, it really is your investment of your time, your energy, your mindset, your work, everything has to be in it. Another one, another very popular one is the time management piece of really not understanding what your schedule is. Like I said, let's go to a chart, go to a chart, make a chart, make a block chart. Do something that makes it very tangible what I do Monday through Sunday. Like make it very real, like go to your studio, go to your office space, go and make sure you work X amount of time in your day. Because that habit, that consistency, that commitment that you make is gonna help obstacles move out of the way. Because it's very easy to say, but I gotta be with my kids and I gotta go to the birthday party and I have to get this, and I have to -- there's tons of stuff that we can let get in the way and really justify it and say, well, I have to get this done. I have to do this. This has to be a top priority if this is going to be a career for you.
Anne: Absolutely. I think there has to be a commitment, a commitment to all pieces of the business. And again, we talk about this so much. It's not just about the performance. It's not just about doing auditions. It's really about the entire, the entire business. And even if -- I feel like I've become a queen of outsourcing only because I keep wanting to grow my business, and I feel like I cannot grow my business until I can offload some of the tasks that I have to do on a day to day basis to other people. And right now, literally, I mean, I'm not bragging about that, but I have nine people. I have nine people that specialize in what they do, helping me with my business. And I outsource that so that I can do all the things that I wanna do in my business and grow.
If I do not hire these people, I will not be able to grow because I physically don't have more of myself to give. So thankfully for this podcast, just as an example, the time that I spend with you in here in our booth recording, the episode is what I put into that. Everything else gets outsourced. I have an editor who edits the episodes afterwards. I have someone who transcribes it. I have two people that do social media. I have a person who works on video clips. So there's literally so many people that are involved in this. I would not be able to put this together or be successful if I did not put the effort into it. And I feel like there's so many people that say, well, I started a podcast, but I don't really have any listeners. So how do I grow the podcast.
Again, it's one of those things where you sit down and you say, okay, this is what it's going to take to be successful. And you also have to not sabotage it by understanding that yes, there are these many pieces and components that it will take to be successful. You can't just exist on being a great voice actor. There has to be the other parts of the business that come into play. And so in terms of sabotaging, there's also, I'm gonna say, let's talk about people who are new to the industry and then are afraid to charge a fair amount for their services. Right? And they're like, well, I don't have the experience. So therefore I'll accept this job for $50. Or I'm only gonna charge $50 because I'm new. Let's talk about that. That is a form of self-sabotage.
Lau: Yes. And you know what? I just wanna recap what you just said, which was brilliant that the negating of delegating, like the importance of delegating and being unafraid to delegate and being unafraid to pay for that delegation in saying that's an investment -- I'm not spending money. I'm investing in my business and I can't do it all. Like, yeah, we wanna be superheroes. And to some degree we are, but there's only so much time in the day we have to function and then to grow our businesses. So having that realization that if I wanna grow to the next level, I do need to delegate. I do need to have help. And I do --
Anne: I need help.
Lau: I do need to pay for it.
Anne: I need help!
Lau: I need to pay for it.
Anne: Oh my God. Such a wonderful point that you brought up, and I'm gonna say myself even in the beginning, I'm a control freak. Is that a surprise? No.
Lau: No. And I'm a control freak.
Anne: I'm a control freak.
Lau: Surprise.
Anne: You don't know what it took for me to hire somebody.
Lau: Anne, you were in the syndrome that we were all in that's just like, oh, I'll just do it myself.
Anne: Yes,
Lau: No, I'll just do it myself. I'll do --
Anne: You want it right --
Lau: -- I'll do it myself.
Anne: Yeah. If you want it done right, you do it yourself. Well, guess what? That is a form of self-sabotage as well. Right? Not being able to let go of control and outsource those things. Right?
Lau: Oo I love that, I love that.
Anne: Right? So that was a form of sabotage that I, myself early on in my career, when I was like, no, I can do it. I can make my own webpage. I can do this. It was, I used to work in technology. I can do it. And honestly, it was not serving me to be the control freak. And it took a lot. And I love the fact that you brought up the money. Money is a huge self-sabotage for a lot of people. Number one, not charging enough or not feeling that you're worthy of charging what somebody who's been in the industry for, you know, 15 years -- you are worthy of that. You've made an investment in your coaching and your demos. People want to pay you for your voice. You are worthy of what I charge, 'cause I've been in the business for 15 years. So you're worthy to charge what I charge.
And also feeling worthy to make an investment and spend the money, that really is a form of self-sabotage as well, that whole money thing. Right? Oh, I didn't wanna invest. I don't have the money. Right?Well, so many people, I don't have the finances. What can I do to get a professional demo? I don't have the money. Well, okay. Here's what you gotta do. You've gotta strategize. Sit back, take a look at it. Understand that you're gonna have to invest in your coaching, in your demos in your business for you to get something out of your business. You're gonna have to invest. And that is, if you do not admit that or put into action, something that will maybe put savings away. Right? So that you can afford to get a professionally produced demo.
Lau: Beautiful. Beautiful.
Anne: No, I'm gonna do it myself. And again, that is a form of sabotage. I've just like rambled on. Lau --
Lau: I love it. This is like, listen, honey, this is therapy for both of us because the truth is we practice what we preach and we've experienced everything we talk about.
Anne: Yeah. It's true.
Lau: I'm not that godlike. I am a human being and I've experienced all of what Anne is talking about here. And that's how we learn. Okay. But if we don't learn, if we don't take the lesson -- as one of my business advisors to me said Lau, if you don't stop your resistance, I can't help you get to that place you wanna go.
Anne: Oh yeah.
Lau: And that's the humility. I don't know if you call it therapy or just revelation, whatever you call that, of saying, I'm not a god, I'm not a deity. I'm not, not anything other than a person in the world who is learning and working hard and reaching higher levels. But that doesn't mean that I am not resisting getting to the next level of things, whether it's -- oh, let's talk about fear. How about fear?
Anne: Oh my God. Fear is so here. Fear of success too. I don't mean to say fear of being rejected. Fear of not being good enough, but fear of success.
Lau: Fear, fear of failure.
Anne: And fear of failure. All of that is a form of self-sabotage. And gosh, I think you just go on all day, but I know for me, I've always been that person. I'm like, I'm just gonna work, work, work, work. I mean, I've always had that kind of a, a work ethic. You know, if I work hard enough, it will come. And that's just my personality.
Lau: Mine too.
Anne: But some of that was also self-sabotage. If I didn't, I said, well, I could just do my own website or I can just, then all of a sudden it became like, well, I'm the only one that can do it right. And so again, that was, I want it done this way. And so nobody else will be able to do it, and giving up that control, which was a big self-sabotage for me.
Lau: Big.
Anne: Huge.
Lau: It's a humility factor too because we all have to have a sense of pride and ego in what we do just to pull us through the really tough moments where we feel or perceive we're getting knocked down, or it's not that easy, or we're not making -- we have to have that sense of humility that says that's okay. That's part of your process. You're not gonna be above that. That's something you have to go through and you have to experience. And I get another one for you. How about procrastination?
Anne: Oh my gosh. Yes. Yeah. <Laugh>
Lau: I promise I'll get to it tomorrow. I will. I absolutely will. Yeah. Then I don't.
Anne: And that is a form of self-sabotage. I'll tell you what. I am not immune to procrastination myself.
Lau: No one is.
Anne: In certain parts of my business, yeah, I'll procrastinate. Let's talk about taxes. If you wanna talk about procrastination, right?
Lau: Oh yeah.
Anne: I know for a fact that I would procrastinate until the very last minute. And then it became like, this stress-induced hell for my business because I, I hadn't experienced it. You know, when you're first running your own business, you have never done your taxes. You've never -- somebody else did that. You know? And so it was like, oh my God, I have a business now. Now what do I need to learn? And it just became overwhelming. So that also, the fact that it was overwhelming, it was scary, the fear, right, of not knowing what to do or how to do it. So then I procrastinated, which then was also sabotaging, right, my success. And then at the end I just was a, a stress ball of anxiety. And yeah. So I would never say to you BOSSes that, oh, I knew it all coming out of the gate. God no. I learn, I'm scared every single day I learn. I try not to sabotage myself by being scared and we fail a little bit. We learn, we try to just get up, move that, bump it up higher. Right? And just keep growing.
Lau: Yep. How about this one, Anne? How about sitting with all the stress, the fear, the anxiety, the whatever, and not knowing how or not allowing yourself to release that? So whether that's going into play mode, whether that's actually just getting things done, whether that's getting your latte, whatever that is, establishing daily and weekly what I need to do to be in my mindset of success. And if I don't do it, then I'm sabotaging myself.
Anne: Well, yeah. And that sabotage can take many forms, by the way. I'm just gonna say. Physical illness is one of them. If you're gonna sit there as like a stress ball and not relieve it or not try to do something right to rectify that or whatever that is, self-care, meditation, exercise, eating healthy, taking a few hours off, again, that stress can be sabotaging as well. So many things.
Lau: It's like endless, right? Like we could go on forever, unfortunately in this category. It's so vast how much we -- and then of course you had mentioned it earlier that imposter syndrome, that feeling, that deep, deep, deep feeling. A lot of women suffer from this just in general of like, I really don't know if I'm worth everything that I'm doing in my life. And you know, Harvard did a lot of studies on that through the years 'cause Joan Rivers, the comedian, was the first one to uncover that publicly and found that ironically the people through the years who have suffered mostly from imposter syndrome being women who are high achievers.
Anne: Oh how interesting. Yeah. That would make a whole lot of sense. Yeah. Imposter syndrome. I still get it. Do you know what I mean? I admit it, it still happens once in a while. I find that I try to just work it off. <laugh>. Work off the imposter syndrome.
Lau: Take a run. <Laugh>
Anne: And again, if I'm not scared, right, I don't think I'm growing. It's just one of those things. Right? And yeah. Am I good enough? You know, can I do I think a lot of it, it's not so much, am I good enough at this point? But it's a different question I ask, is it okay? Am I ready to make this next move? Like, am I at the point where I should be making this next move? I think I question like, okay, what am I gonna do? How am I gonna grow even bigger? Right? That's my question every day. How do I grow even bigger? Is there a point where I'll be satisfied ever? And I don't think I ever will be. And maybe that's, maybe that's a form of it or not or --
Lau: Isn't that okay though? Like, isn't that a good driving force?
Anne: Well, that's what I like to think.
Lau: What are --
Anne: -- really goes through.
Lau: Yeah. Like what keeps you going? What keeps you waking up every morning and doing what you do. You have to have a sense of that. You have to have some sense of doing that and saying, oh, I need more. I wanna build more. I wanna envision more. I wanna concoct more ideas. I think that, I think there's a fine line between a visionary, a pioneer, and someone who's like insane. Someone who just drives themselves crazy to the point where they break down and they can't function. I think that there's a very fine line that we have to find, you know, between those two and that fear factor, which can get in our way is also a driving factor too in what you're doing in your level of success as well. And how about this one? I got one more for you.
Anne: Okay.
Lau: How about ignoring, and sometimes intentionally ignoring, your celebrations, like really saying I'm not gonna celebrate anything. it's not necessary. It's not that good. I'm gonna move on to the next thing, and really ignoring your credits, your credentials, your accolades, as they happen? Your people that are --
Anne: That's a great one.
Lau: -- being successful? Yeah. And so I'm really guilty of that. I'm like, oh, that's great. I love that. Okay. So what's next? And I'll have people stop me and go, you need to stop doing that because a lot of what you do, Lau, is for that moment and you're just passing it over.
Anne: Right, right, right. Don't want to acknowledge --
Lau: -- pass it over.
Anne: Right.
Lau: And celebrate it, really actively celebrate it. You can't celebrate every single thing 'cause as a success, you've got a lot of things going on.
Anne: Sure.
Lau: But take a moment every day where you stop and you breathe, you take 10 or 15 minutes. You go --
Anne: I love it.
Lau: Oh my gosh. That person that I directly worked with landed this gig. And I am just loving this moment.
Anne: So here's my Panda planner. <laugh>. And my Panda planner is a place, it's this hard copy, is a place where I can write down. I love that. You said that I can write down accomplishments and I got this beautiful one, the BOSS lady right here in my studio. Right?
Lau: That's gorgeous actually on -- that looks beautiful. That's from your east coast sister.
Anne: Thank you. Thank you, Lau. This beautiful, beautiful piece is from Lau. And I have a journal where I can write down my accomplishments. Because I remember I did a study like way back when I first got into the voiceover industry, and I, well, I was a scrapbooker. Okay. And as a scrapbooker I said, why don't I document my year of VO? And so I had pictures of like meetups I had been to and all of that stuff. And, and I had documented all of the jobs that I auditioned for and then the ones that I had booked, and I made a little scrapbook out of it.
But in that scrapbook also was accomplishments. And I wrote the accomplishments down as they happened throughout the year. I realized that once I started writing them down, I was like, wow, I have come so far. And it was a wonderful benchmark, and it was a wonderful, like motivator for me to say, wow, I have really grown. And I have really improved and I'm proud of myself. And it motivated me to want to grow even more. So --
Lau: What a powerhouse, so smart.
Anne: -- huge, huge fan of writing, writing down those accomplishments and reading them, writing them down to cement them and then read them. So. I love it.
Lau: And how about speaking them?
Anne: Yes.
Lau: We're always afraid of like boasting and being too full of ourselves and being rude. But to your people that you have real relationships with, they wanna know what are you celebrating. What did you do? You're working so hard. They wanna know what you've accomplished. And to say, you know, three of my people today, and they got awards, and they got national gigs and they -- isn't that cool? I'm so excited for them. There's no shame in that game. I think we need to do that. We need to take the time to do that, to reward them, but also to reward ourselves --
Anne: Yeah.
Lau: -- as well.
Anne: And we need to acknowledge, I think acknowledge people celebrating their victories because I really believe that we can celebrate each other and really drive inspiration, motivation for all of us to do better. And again, there is a crowd out there that feels that that's not necessarily like awards. I mean, we could have a whole 'nother podcast on awards. <laugh> Are awards necessary? And you know what? I tend to really love that they can help to validate us from somebody outside of ourselves. Because again, we can sabotage ourselves like the whole imposter syndrome, which is that fear that you're not good enough. It can really inhibit you from doing more from even continuing in the industry.
And I feel that awards can be really good if you can look at them in the fact that we're celebrating other people's victories. We can even celebrate our own victories. And it's a way for validation outside of ourselves and outside of our friends, who I know people who will be like, I know, but you're just saying that because we're friends, and you really need that. You need that external validation to make you feel good. Again, like in the corporate world, we just wanna be loved. That's what I tell everybody, I just wanted to be loved when I worked in the corporate world. I wanted to be acknowledged. I wanted to be thanked for the work that I did and told that I did a good job.
Lau: Yeah. I think since we're little kids, we want recognition. We want, you know, an award, a sticker, a rank or recognition, a pat on the back. Like as human beings --
Anne: I worked for those stickers in school. You know?
Lau: I did too.
Anne: Those like stars and the smileys.
Lau: Yes. On the head. Remember they used to put it right on your forehead, the little goals? Remember that?
Anne: I used to get --
Lau: They used to put it right on your head. Oh, oh my God.
Anne: Award papers. I loved it. I loved it. I don't know. They don't do that.
Lau: Oh my God.
Anne: Is there paper anymore in schools? I don't.
Lau: I don't know. I don't know. That's terrifying. I go to Apple. They go, what's paper? I don't know. Go on your -- did we talk about money at all? I honestly can't remember. Did we bring up the money factor?
Anne: Well, I think we talked about the worth factor. Like, are you charging what you're worth?
Lau: Okay. I got another angle. There's another angle of that. The other angle is, are you spending and investing what you need?
Anne: Yes, the investment. Absolutely.
Lau: Because I always find if it's not ignorance or just the fact that you're not educated, and that's fine, that's okay. We all have to educate, but once you're educated, and you wanna be cheap and not spend dime on your career and what you're doing, I just think of that as self-sabotage. Because there is no career that I can think of that you're not investing a lot of money in to get the future out of that, to get the return out of that. So.
Anne: And that's not just investment in coaching, it's in, in all aspects of your business. And of course I would say yes, investing in your demos and in your coaching, I'm all for that, 'cause I'm coach. Right? And I produce demos, but also investing in those things like me, the queen of outsourcing, like you can really give up that control and don't be afraid to invest. And I, I will say, I said this multiple times, I put money away specifically into my business savings account. I have a business credit card. I have a business banking account, and I have a business savings account.
So I was able to put money a little bit away each week or whatever it was, I put money away. And I finally got to the point where I had a substantial amount in savings. And boy did that help me to really grow. The fact that I didn't have the money in savings or I didn't concentrate on putting money in save -- doesn't matter. It doesn't have to be a ton of money. Just put a little bit of money away each day, each week, whatever it is. When you get to that little nest egg, that makes you feel secure and confident, it's gonna be an amazing thing because it's gonna allow you to invest in your business, to help you to grow so that you can spend the time getting those customers, making more money, growing your business.
Lau: And a lot of people, Anne, they really don't realize once they do realize if they start to reach a level where they realize, oh wow, I have to spend money on this. And then I have to spend money on that. And they refuse to. They're resistant to do that.
Anne: Yes, yes.
Lau: That's the sabotage because the truth is --
Anne: I don't have the money or I can do it myself. And --
Lau: That's an investment that they have to have the belief system that that will come back to them. They have to have that leap of faith. That's where a little bit of your magic, your imagination has to be in there. You know what I mean? Like...
Anne: Yes, thank you.
Lau: I had someone say to me yesterday, like literally Lau, I need to know, I need you to tell me, when will it come back? When will it happen? I said, I can't tell you. I can't tell you when you'll meet the man of your dreams. I can't tell you if your kid is gonna love you or hate you. And I can't tell you if your car is gonna start this morning. Why would I be able to tell you when that's gonna come back to you? You have to take a leap of faith.
Anne: Leap of faith. What a wonderful note to kind of end this podcast. Because I think when it comes down to that, like really what else do you have? Right? If you're based on fear and you're not feeling good enough for all of this self-sabotaging, you're not growing your business, take a leap of faith. My mother said to me once -- you know, I remember when I was, I had moved out of the house and was on my own living in a different state. And I was renting my first apartment and all on my own. And I said to my mom, I don't know, I've been working the budget and what if I don't have enough money? Or what if I, I, I don't know if I can do this. And she said, you know, honey, sometimes it all just works out. Just have a little bit of faith. And I took that to heart. It was, she said it so long ago. It was so simple. It's like something that everybody seems to say, have a little bit of faith, but yeah. Guys, BOSSes have a little bit of faith. I think that honestly, when you've lost all your other avenues of being brave, take a leap of faith and it will work out, but take a smart leap of faith, but definitely have to have that leap of faith.
Lau: Yeah, yeah. You definitely do. And you have to just know the only thing that's constant is change, and you have to welcome change and like literally money change, but also change in the universe. And if you can welcome both in, you're gonna move that self sabotaging tactic out. You're you're just gonna be by the laws of attraction. You're gonna be much more successful.
Anne: How wonderful. Well, thank you, Lau, as always for you had another amazing discussion.
Lau: Yay.
Anne: BOSSes, you guys, as individuals, you know, sometimes we don't know if we can make a huge impact, but as a group, we can contribute to the growth of our communities in ways that we never thought possible. Find out more at 100voiceswhocare.org to learn how you can make a difference. Also big shout-out to ipDTL. You too can network and be BOSSes. Find out more at ipdtl.com. You guys, have an amazing week. We love you, and we'll see you next week. Bye.
Lau: Bye!
>> Join us next week for another edition of VO BOSS with your host Anne Ganguzza. And take your business to the next level. Sign up for our mailing list at voBOSS.com and receive exclusive content, industry revolutionizing tips and strategies, and new ways to rock your business like a BOSS. Redistribution with permission. Coast to coast connectivity via ipDTL.